To those who recently received GCSE/A Level results..

 If you received GCSE or A level results either this week or last week, then I’m writing this post to you. 

If you achieved or exceeded the grades you were expecting; a massive congratulations to you. There is no better feeling than getting grades you are proud of. 

For those of you who didn’t, I know it feels like it now, but it isn’t the end of the world. I truly believe everything happens for a reason anyway, but regardless, carry on reading..

I LOVED school, for as long as I remember. I have always liked learning. I had shining school reports and could always cope well in an ‘exam setting’. Going back to year 6 - aged 10 - I remember getting the best ‘levels’ possible in the SATs test. I went on to passing the 11+ exam and went to my first choice Grammar School. From there, I went from being top of my primary school...to very mediocre in my secondary school that was full of people that had also been the top of their primary schools for years. But I coped, and I worked hard. 

I was a straight A/A* student at GCSE, getting my target grade or surprised by a grade much higher. I was over the moon, and prepared for my A Levels at the same sixth form. 

Not too relevant yet, but it was then I became unwell. Luckily, I was able to complete those 2 years (albeit by changing sixth forms and doing my exams from my hospital bed). Again, I worked and revised hard, and averages A grades, which was the requirements that my first place Uni asked for to enable me to do a degree in Law. 

I went to Uni, but after 3 attempts and deteriorating health, I had no option but to give up. I was spending more time in hospital than at home, and I was too unwell to study at that point. I’m lucky that the Law School at my chosen Uni have been amazing and have helped me beyond belief; I am still working towards that Law degree from home. My estimated graduation is over double the amount of years the course is to start with. 

You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you about this. It’s for 2 reasons:

1. No one expected this year to be plagued with Covid-19. No one truly knows what grade you would have got if you’d been given the chance to sit your exams. Generally, a fair amount of revision and a good memory would get you through most exams. This is the first time that mock grades have been taken as seriously as they have been by everyone, and the fact that they were sat before schools closed and exams were cancelled is not a true reflection of your ability. If my mock grades were taken, although I would have passed everything, I very much doubt I would have passed them all at grade ‘A’, so don’t think that the list of letters or numbers you’ve received is a reflection of you. Nobody was expecting this year to turn out as it has. It’s been scary for the best of us, but to be in the position of you - those in year 11 & 13, I can’t imagine the anxiety that this unexpected, uncertain and unprecedented times must have caused. The outcome of this year - the grades you were predicted - in no way define you, and I PROMISE it’ll be fine in the end; it’ll all fall into place. 

2. The second (and most important) reason, and the thing I really want to stress, is that studying, exams, and grades are far from the most important thing in life, and I only realised that since I’ve been sick. Without your health, you have nothing. Without family and friends, you have nothing. Without happiness, you have nothing. And none of those things can be achieved with some exam grades. 

I received my GCSE results 8 years ago, and my A level results 6 years ago. What’s happened since?

Recalling the past 6 years, I’ve been completely bed-bound for nearly 3 of them, and bed/reclined wheelchair bound for the rest. I have 24 hour care, 365 days per year. 

Ive been in hospital more than not, have had more operations and procedures than I can count, put the life of some of my family on hold with their focus only being on me, whilst not seeing other members of my family for years. I’ve pushed my parents to their absolute limits in caring for me, both physically and mentally - did their school grades lead to the development of my chronic illnesses? Did they need a qualification to look after me when I was unwell and scared for my life? Without good exam results, would they have not put on the brave face they have for me, and fought continuously for the care I need and deserve? Or would it have got me through times that I was critically ill in ITU, stop the need for the operations I’ve needed left, right and centre. Would it have meant that they wouldn’t have suffered themselves? If they’d have got the best exam results at school, would life be different now?

What I’m trying to say, is that your future isn’t ruined if you didn’t receive the grades you were hoping for. There are always alternatives, but more importantly, there are bigger things to life than grades on a piece of paper. Live for today; nobody knows just what’s round the corner. 

So, congratulations to you all. Be proud of yourself for being you.

Long overdue update!

Hello again everyone, & sorry it’s been so long since the last update!

First and foremost, here is my (nearly finished), hopefully more permanent ‘blog’, which as you can see is more based towards Bravery Bottles (which incorporates care kits & teddies too). 

Many of you are in the same position as me and are classified as ‘high-risk’ so, in the face of COVID-19, were shielding as I was. I don’t want to moan as I know I’m far from the minority amongst my friends and those reading this, but I struggled mentally a tremendous amount - far more than I imagined I would - and I’m glad that some measures have been lifted and we are on our way back to ‘normal life’ (although not without any interruptions I’m sure!).

Health-wise my body isn’t coping very well - in fact it’s not coping at all! I’m fainting a ridiculous amount of times due to my PoTS and the heat - enough to render me back temporarily permanently bed-bound. I’m tired ALL the time, I’m suffering from vertigo and sickness on top of that and the pain in my bladder, blockages in my catheter, the multiple catheter changes, and the inevitable never ending infection is a whole different story and is affecting my life on a scale so high that (although seemingly drastic), a Urostomy (with or without bladder removal), is the option I’ve opted for next (not that I had any other options to choose from!), and my next hurdle to overcome. If anyone has a Urostomy or anything similar, please message me (if you wouldn’t mind discussing it of course!).

However, on a more positive note, I’ve had a few changes in my life that have improved both my mood and my independence. The week before last, my family managed to arrange a surprise party for my mum which I was able to attend, and the reaction on her face showed the sheer shock and amazement of all of our family being together - myself included. 

The following week I then went back to stay with my mummy last week for a couple of nights ‘respite’ and it was a really nice couple of days and a well needed break for us all; if only a couple of nights. An overdue trip to Bluewater, seeing lots of my family and friends, some much needed time with my mumma, and also having the sense of ‘independence’, knowing that I had planned a couple of nights away with my carers. (Dani & Clara - thank you both for coming!). 

In other news, I have decided to enrol back onto my Law degree this year and try and press on towards graduation. My modules are my choice and so this academic year I am set to be studying ‘Mental Health Law’, Forensic Science in Criminal Trials’, Human rights and English Law’, and ‘The philosophy of Law’. It’ll be nice to have a routine and a focus again. 

I have a few people to thank for their generosity and help over the past few months in terms of the project. Apart from the lovely ‘happy post’ from Megan, Naomi, Phee, Sophie, Lizzie (and anyone else I’ve missed out!), I’d like to especially thank:

• Fernie (& team), who donate 10% of their earnings from their business to a different nominated charity each month. I was shocked honoured to receive £125 from them; thank you to my Auntie Nessa for nominating Bravery Bottles!

• Amanda; the previous winner of the ‘guess the name of the zebra’ prize. A lovely email with photos of the zebra being very well looked after (!) and an unexpected £10 donation really did put a smile on my face. 

• All of the regular stationery & office/admin equipment from Robert Sanderson; my grandad!

• All of the stamps that a few of you have been collecting. If you don’t know about this, EDS UK (the charity) ask for donations of used stamps which can turn into funds for them. You can send them to the address supplied on the ‘contact’ page and I will send them on when I have enough to make it worthwhile!

And yes, to address the elephant in the room, I’d like to introduce you all to my boyfriend; Sam. Unfortunately he doesn’t live especially close to me and he faces his own challenges with his health (which although he takes in his stride, we know will make it difficult for us to see each other regularly). However, he is so caring and supportive towards me, he makes me happier than he even realises! I hope that in the future, he might want to get involved in my blog and maybe my projects too. I have so much more that I could say, but there may be an update sooner than you think, so watch out for that!

Sorry for the overdue post - I have a few things planned so keep checking back and follow the ‘Bravery Bottles’ Facebook page. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post!

Katie xxx